Home is far away

I've got a long way to go
but there's no vacant taxis
it feels like it'll rain
the day's burden feels heavy
on my drooping shoulder
I just want to rest for a moment
home is far away

Nothing's changed
alone in an empty playground
I do pull ups on a high bar
it's been a tip-toed life
what's been expected of me
has been a little beyond my stretched arms
people standard soaring high as Mt. Everest
as I rise to the top, stress does to
I know I can never rest
since there's no sleeping pills
that will put my complaints to sleep

Now it is become obvious
why society taught us how to wait in line
complex relations, that itself is a paradox
there's only relation, no room for people

I used to dream because I was afraid to be mundane
now I dream of being normal
as I stand all alone in the rain
if there's no growth, growing pain is just a pain

I become more and more afraid
my two feet and heart are running, but for what?
my dream has become a burden
my only hope is to leave them behind and run away
just one more step, they say
but when I looked up,
I was at the edge of the cliff
I looked behind to see long line of expectations
were they supported me or pushing me over
the materialistic world reached out to me
I hated to hold it
but I fear more of being empty handed
it can't be only time that can't be held on to
looking up at the dark sky
and thought I once had a dream
tonight, it's even hard to sleep

could you stop for me, for a moment?
I can't walk any further
the wind is blowing
and I still have a long way to go

Is there no place for me is this huge world?
am I alone in this busy street?
is there not a single empty seat for me?
Home is far away

The path I had  take
I once had something like a dream
I once had a dream

Lost stars

Please don't see
Just a girl caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me
Reaching out for someone I can't see

Take my hand, let's see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans sometimes are just unexpected
I'll be damned, Cupid's demanding back his arrow
So let's get drunk on our tears

And God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

But don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer
Turn the page, maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears

And I thought I saw you out there crying
And I thought I heard you call my name
And I thought I heard you out there crying
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?
Are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

Seasonal life

All i can say is that life has seasons, and some seasons you’re doing amazingly and living with great joy and your demons are at bay, seemingly defeated.

But then new seasons arrive, and you aren’t doing so hot, and while you pursue joy in all you do, the demons come out and almost engulf you. This season could be difficult and frustrating because i seem to struggle with the same things over and over and over again. it takes a toll on my mind and my body and my heart. it affects every aspect of my life– because i let it. 

But i know that it’s not a matter of winning or losing, but of fighting and moving forward.