Should I or should I not?

Marriage. As I grow older I’m thinking a lot about this. 2 days ago, I turned to 27 years old. Bless to have what I have right now, alhamdulilah.
As I grow older, people keep asking me about marriage, which I don’t have the answer myself. I just ignore what people say, most of the time and don’t even bother about that, but sometimes it bothers me. The questions keep coming into my mind.
“do I have to get married?” “why should I get married?” “why I need to get married?” “what happened if I don’t get married?” “what happened if I get married?”
Those questions bother me sometimes. I try to reason many times about this. It’s normal for people to get married especially to their loved ones. They hope that when they get married they will be happy for the rest of their life and they can grow older with their loved ones. That’s normal thinking. And I think it’s sweet. You’ve got someone to spend the rest of your life together and if you are lucky you’ve child too. That’s beautiful. And that’s what …

Home is far away

I've got a long way to go
but there's no vacant taxis
it feels like it'll rain
the day's burden feels heavy
on my drooping shoulder
I just want to rest for a moment
home is far away

Nothing's changed
alone in an empty playground
I do pull ups on a high bar
it's been a tip-toed life
what's been expected of me
has been a little beyond my stretched arms
people standard soaring high as Mt. Everest
as I rise to the top, stress does to
I know I can never rest
since there's no sleeping pills
that will put my complaints to sleep

Now it is become obvious
why society taught us how to wait in line
complex relations, that itself is a paradox
there's only relation, no room for people

I used to dream because I was afraid to be mundane
now I dream of being normal
as I stand all alone in the rain
if there's no growth, growing pain is just a pain

I become more and more afraid
my two feet and heart are running, but for what?
my dream has become a burden
my only h…

Lost stars

Please don't see
Just a girl caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me
Reaching out for someone I can't see
Take my hand, let's see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans sometimes are just unexpected
I'll be damned, Cupid's demanding back his arrow
So let's get drunk on our tears
And God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?
But don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer
Turn the page, maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears
And I thought I saw you out there crying
And I thought I heard you call my name
And I thought I heard you out there crying
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?
Are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

Seasonal life

All i can say is that life has seasons, and some seasons you’re doing amazingly and living with great joy and your demons are at bay, seemingly defeated. But then new seasons arrive, and you aren’t doing so hot, and while you pursue joy in all you do, the demons come out and almost engulf you. This season could be difficult and frustrating because i seem to struggle with the same things over and over and over again. it takes a toll on my mind and my body and my heart. it affects every aspect of my life– because i let it.  But i know that it’s not a matter of winning or losing, but of fighting and moving forward.

One after another

This is an important lesson to remember when we're having a bad day, a bad month or a shitty year. Things will change, because I believe we won't feel this way forever, isn't it?

And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones our soul needs most. I believe we can't feel real joy unless we've been felt heartache. We can't have a sense of victory unless we know what it means to fail.

Petani yang buntu

Dunia adalah tentang memegang amanah; melaksanakannya, serta membuat keputusan dari pilihan-pilihan yang ada.
Dan kerana hidup dan kehidupan adalah rahsia Tuhan yang nyata,
maka kepada Tuhanlah kita harus bertanya tentang apa pun pilihan yang ingin kita buat.

Kenapa mesti Allah?
Kerana tidak ada walau sehelai daun pun yang gugur di luar pengetahuanNYA. (Al-an'am:59)
Dan kerana Allah tahu apa yang ada dalam setiap hati, meski nyata atau rahsia.(Al-Mulk:13)

Ada seorang petani yang diberikan rezeki memiliki sebidang tanah yang luas. Kering, dan tidak mengizinkan tanaman.
Tanah seluas itu, hanya di isi dengan rumahnya; kerana hanya itu yang dia ada.

Maka suatu hari, petani yang ingin mencari rezeki diberikan sampan kecil untuknya berusaha.Maka petani bertanya kepada Allah, haruskah dia menerima sampan itu..sedang lautan berada jauh dari kawasannya.Dan Allah menjawabnya dengan menjadikan seisi rumah si petani merasa lapang terhadap sampan itu. Maka petani mengambilnya.

Bermusyawarah si petani d…

Book = People

People are like books. There are some you would want to hold on to for the rest of your life, some that you could not afford to finish reading because of consequent disinterest, some that you would want to read over and over and just doesn’t seem to get boring. In every person is a whole lot of story, which then would explain the maxim, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Fair enough, right? Until one has picked up a book and read from beginning thru end, one cannot be certain with the conclusion it holds. Now in all the hundreds and thousands of books that you will come across in your entire life, there are bound to be some that would stand out, some that would be forgotten, and some that would be left behind. As it is, we have to move on from one book to the next. With people, it is an inevitable phenomenon to be fleeting creatures, in constant search for new experiences, new sensations. There is, after all, only one life that we are given to live.