What is to be human?

It seems, as the world has gotten smaller with satellites and cell phones, that time has condensed and we are further pushed to minimize everything in life in order to save ‘time’.

We sort our laundry by color and texture.  We sort our projects by order of importance.  We sort people by commonalities – or lack thereof.  A moving scale if you will.  Religion is a big one.  Politics another.

Sorting has become habitual – we do it by rote, mechanically – a memorized technique that we could multitask our way through without so much as a sideways glance.  Do you know your garbage men by name?  Do you know who delivers your letters?  Do you know anything about them, their families, children, etc.? Just a question.  No judgment.

For the sake of religion, we have forgotten or perhaps even forsaken the most basic element that is at the core: we are all human.  We’ve only walked in our own shoes, and most of us have never left the country.  Yet for reasons that make no logical sense to me, we as humans feel that we can discern and subsequently express superiority over other humans.  I reiterate – we’ve only walked in our own shoes.  Where or is it how do we come by the ‘right’ to judge and determine the fate of those we consider inferior?  Did we give away the logic to the ‘god of time’ because “I need to get on to my next ……..(whatever)”?

I’m restless tonight.  (Earthy) Humanity desired to know it’s reaches – and so it has.  Be careful what you ask for.  Ask with open arms…………..open arms defined as:  ask the question, knowing that the answer may be sleeping next to you, in your house, in your heart.  Walk a mile in silence.   Walk another mile, and then another.  Breathe and know you are on a path.  Then recognize that your path may be paved – you’re still on the solitary path, not the human path.

To be

Back it up.  Forget the path.  Close your eyes and recognize your resonant heartbeat.  One thing.

We all have to give for one thing.  Love.  We are all ultimately reaching for it.  If we could but sort it out and recognize that all is within.  If we could but recognize that nothing is missing because it all resides inside, wouldn’t that be something.  We as humans need to find our way; else we lose the way and our humanity.

Today I determined to fall in love

This morning I woke up determined to fall in love. I don’t know why today was any different from every previous morning, where I usually wake up determined (through quantum physics) to try and squeeze two more hours of sleep into the nine minutes allotted by my snooze button. But today was different.

 'Fall in love!’ - The thought entered my brain before my eyes even opened, and my smile continued to grow as I inhaled deeply the smell of a new day that carried the fragrance of my mission. I spent a few precious moments in my nest of down pillows, my old favorite to the left of my head. Giving it one last loving squeeze, holding the promise to share my adventures in the evening, I slipped from my bed and set off on my quest, guided by an unknown ‘knowing’.

 Although my morning rituals were unchanged, (pray, making coffee, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, etc.), I became aware of things I had not previously noticed.

My shower for example:  today I was aware of every individual drop of water as it alighted on my skin. It was a symphony that had played every morning, yet I had never tuned in to hear it before today. I fell in love with the music.

My day continued as such, with each previously mundane situation being redefined. I took a sip of my black coffee, noticing the perfect dark color, the bold flavor, and the heat as it flowed down my throat, warming my body from the inside out, infusing my cells with the sweet essence of thebeans. I fell in love with my coffee.

That afternoon I took my daily walk on from my kuliyyah to my room. Every day the trail changes, (the trees, flowers, plants, insects, the animals, etc.). For me, walking is a form of meditation, the place where I can connect.

Today I was only a quarter mile into my meditation when I noticed a furry, black caterpillar scurrying across the five-foot bald expanse of the trail. The caterpillar’s movements were so hurried, they smacked of panic. I briefly considered “helping” it to the other side, a thought I quickly dismissed as arrogant in a superior, human sort of way, and decided to merely observe and intervene only if necessary. It seemed, at that decisive moment, that I connected with this critter. Once it reached the tall green grass it stopped moving completely.

I waited a few moments and proceeded on my walk, lost in thought. Where will it go from here?  When the time is right, it will seek a place to build its cocoon. Somewhere higher up, I hope. How does it choose?  With complete trust, this creature will seal itself up, vulnerable as it hides in plain sight, dreaming of flight. Bravery personified in a furry critter that can easily pass under the radar, yet we all notice the butterflies. I fell in love with this caterpillar and the thoughts this little creature provoked.

I looked up as I continued walking, noticing the cloud formations. I realized that I was looking at a gift. Never again would I see that exact cloud in that exact formation. It existed whether I noticed it or not. I fell in love with it.

More importantly, I began to feel the love sent out, the subtle ambient vibration evident in all things, connecting all things. And like a pebble in a pond, the next overwhelming feeling exploded from my heart, the feeling of gratitude.

I felt more alive than ever before. I have heard it said that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. Intellectually I understood that, yet it was only at this moment that I felt it. I knew I was a part of something so much greater than this human body I was experiencing.

Only when I became truly open to falling in love was I able to see that love is all around, in everything, just waiting to be acknowledged.

By protecting myself from “falling” I had actually prohibited myself from flying.

As I pondered my day, the love I’d felt for inanimate objects, living beings, and every conceivable thing that crossed my path, I realized I could no longer play small. I had a job to do: to be a part of the amplification of the vibration of love. With my heart full of love, I blessed the day as I drifted off to sleep.

Why

Why do I write?

Perhaps in order not go mad. 

Or, on the contrary, to touch the bottom of madness.